What Does “Neuroaffirming” Actually Mean? (And What It Looks Like at Evolve OT)

“Are you neuroaffirming?”

It’s a question I get asked more and more, and honestly, I love that families are asking it.

But here’s the tricky part.

“Neuroaffirming” has become one of those words that gets used a lot… and explained very little.

It’s not a vibe. It’s not just being kind. It’s not lowering expectations. And it’s definitely not “letting kids do whatever they want.”

So let’s talk about what it actually means, and what it looks like inside occupational therapy sessions at Evolve OT.

Neuroaffirming Means the Brain Isn’t Broken

At its core, neuroaffirming practice recognises that neurodivergence (ADHD, autism, PDA profiles, sensory processing differences, anxiety-linked nervous system differences) is a variation, not a defect.

That doesn’t mean there aren’t challenges.

It means the goal is not to make a child look more neurotypical.

The goal is to support them to function, participate, regulate, and feel safe, as themselves.

That’s a very different starting point.

Because when you believe a child is broken, you try to fix them.

When you believe a child makes sense, you try to understand them.

What Neuroaffirming is not:

Let’s clear this up gently.

Neuroaffirming does not mean:

• No boundaries

• No expectations

• No skill development

• No growth

• No discomfort ever

It doesn’t mean ignoring daily living skills, transitions, hygiene, school participation, or independence.

It means we build those skills without framing the child as the problem.

It means we reduce shame while increasing capacity.

That’s the shift.

What Neuroaffirming Looks Like at Evolve OT

It’s one thing to define it.

It’s another to show you what it actually looks like during a therapy session on a random Tuesday afternoon.

Here’s what neuroaffirming practice looks like at Evolve OT.

We Start with Safety- Not Behaviour

If a child walks into session dysregulated, we don’t push through the planned activity.

We slow down.

We connect first.

We adjust.

Because if a child’s nervous system feels unsafe, learning simply won’t stick.

A completed worksheet is not more important than a regulated relationship.

We Ask “What Is This Behaviour Communicating?”

Instead of: “How do we stop this?”

We ask: “What is this telling us?”

Avoidance might mean:

• Anxiety

• Overwhelm

• Sensory overload

• Autonomy threat

• Fatigue

Refusal is information. Shutdown is information. Big reactions are information.

When we understand the message, we can support the need underneath it.

We Don’t Build Goals Around Compliance

You won’t see goals like:

• Increase compliance

• Sit still for 10 minutes

• Reduce fidgeting

• Improve eye contact

Instead, you’ll see goals like:

• Increase capacity to transition with support

• Develop self-advocacy skills

• Strengthen regulation and recovery

• Build independence safely

• Improve daily living participation in ways that feel manageable

We’re not trying to erase traits.

We’re building skills that protect dignity.

We Respect Sensory and Autonomy Needs

If a child:

• Moves constantly

• Scripts or hums

• Avoids eye contact

• Needs headphones

• Requires slower pacing

• Says “no”

We don’t immediately try to extinguish it.

We ask:Is it harming anyone?Or is it regulating their nervous system?

If it’s regulation, we protect it.

Neuroaffirming practice adapts the environment, not just the child.

We Collaborate- We Don’t Control

If a child refuses in session, we don’t escalate into power struggles.

We get curious.

Is the task too hard? Too boring? Too fast? Too unpredictable? Too pressured?

We adjust before we insist.

Because collaboration builds capacity.Control builds resistance.

We Measure Progress Differently

Traditional models might define progress as:

• Sitting longer

• Following directions faster

• Complying more consistently

At Evolve OT, progress might look like:

• Recovering from dysregulation 5 minutes faster

• Asking for help instead of exploding

• Tolerating one small transition

• Returning to session willingly next week

• Expressing “no” safely

That kind of progress isn’t flashy.

But it’s sustainable.

And Yes, We Support Parents Too

Neuroaffirming practice isn’t just child-centred.

It’s family-centred.

We help parents:

• Understand nervous systems

• Reframe behaviour

• Shift language

• Reduce shame

• Build realistic, sustainable strategies

Because you can’t co-regulate if you’re drowning.

And you are not failing, you’re parenting a nervous system.

Why This Matters

Many neurodivergent children grow up internalising:

“I’m too much.”“I’m difficult.”“I’m wrong.”“I need to change.”

Neuroaffirming practice says:

“You make sense.”“Your nervous system is doing its best.”“Let’s build skills in ways that protect who you are.”

That shift changes trajectories.

Not because we lowered the bar.

But because we removed the shame.

Final Thoughts

Neuroaffirming isn’t a checklist.

It’s a lens.

It’s choosing:

• Safety over speed

• Collaboration over compliance

• Dignity over discipline

• Understanding over control

At Evolve OT, we don’t try to change who your child is.

We help them understand how they work.

And we help the world around them meet them halfway.

That’s not soft.

That’s sustainable.

☕💛 Until next time- keep caffeinating, regulating, and choosing safety over shame.