Self-Care for Parents of Neurodivergent Kids Because you matter too.

When you’re parenting a neurodivergent child, the world often tells you to “just take care of yourself.”

As if it’s that simple.

As if you’re not constantly:

• Navigating meltdowns, shutdowns, or school refusal

• Advocating in medical and educational systems

• Managing sensory needs, sleep challenges, and therapies

• Holding space for your child’s nervous system and suppressing your own

You’re juggling more than most people can see.You’re often running on little sleep, stretched emotionally thin, and still googling answers at 2am.

So let’s get something clear up front:

You deserve care too. Real care. Not just bubble baths and candles.

Let’s talk about what self-care really means for parents of neurodivergent children and how to find it in ways that actually fit into your messy, beautiful, overloaded life.

Why Traditional Self-Care Advice Doesn’t Cut It

“Just get some time to yourself!”“Book a massage.”“Have a night off.”

These suggestions often come from well-meaning people but they don’t understand the reality.

What if your child doesn’t sleep?

What if leaving the house triggers a full shutdown?

What if the idea of relaxing just reminds you of how exhausted you really are?

You might be too hypervigilant to rest. Too overstimulated to recharge. Too burnt out to even know what you need.

So let’s redefine self-care.

What Self-Care Really Looks Like for You

Real self-care isn’t about checking out, it’s about checking in.

It’s about giving your nervous system, your body, your identity and your energy what they truly need.

Here are some examples of self-care that actually matter:

• Saying “no” without guilt

• Letting go of unhelpful expectations (from schools, family, or yourself)

• Choosing toast for dinner without apologising

• Sitting in the car for 5 minutes alone and doing nothing

• Replacing “I should be doing…” with “I’m doing enough.”

• Asking for help- even if it’s just to vent

• Unfollowing accounts that make you feel like you’re not enough

• Laughing at something completely ridiculous

• Drinking your coffee while it’s hot- once in a blue moon

None of this looks glamorous. But it’s survival. And survival is self-care.

Burnout is Real (and It’s Not Your Fault)

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, snappy, tearful, forgetful, shut down, or completely numb — that’s not bad parenting.

That’s burnout. And it’s your body telling you it needs a pause, a breath, or a buffer.

It doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’ve been doing too much for too long without enough support.

Self-care in burnout might look like:

• Asking someone to take over for 10 minutes, even if the dishes pile up

• Watching comfort TV with your child instead of forcing schoolwork

• Letting go of the pressure to “fix” everything and choosing connection instead

You Matter Too

You are not just the calm in everyone else’s storm.

You are a human being with needs, dreams, a nervous system, and limits. And no matter how much you love your child, you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Your child doesn’t need a perfect parent. They need a present one.

And that means caring for yourself is not selfish, it’s essential.

Final Thoughts

If all you did today was:

• Keep everyone fed

• Keep everyone alive

• Whisper “I love you” even through gritted teeth

You did enough.

Self-care doesn’t mean having it all together.It means showing up for yourself, in the smallest, most honest ways.

You are doing brave, invisible, radical work every single day.

And you are not alone in it.

Further Support

• What to Tell Yourself on the Hard Days – free printable (request via email)

• @neurodivergent_minds and @thisthingtheycallrecovery (Instagram)

Still caffeinating, still co-regulating, and reminding you:

you matter just as much as your child ☕💛Jisel